Weight Loss

I am now over weight by about 90 lbs....WOW it was hard to write that on a blog that other people can actually read. So many awful thoughts come into my head as I think about this. I know that these are not the thoughts that God wants me to have so I am deciding to take these thoughts captive and give them back to him.


I have lost all of my excess weight before. I think that it was about 11 years ago. I was completely dependant on God. I would pray that he would stop me from overeating. I would ask Him every morning to walk with me on this walk. If I needed to go to the store I asked Him to come with me so I would not buy anything that I shouldn't. Then I got pregnant with my 4th. I thought that he was a girl my whole pregnancy. When he was born I was mad at God. "REALLY?!?! Four boys...UGHHHHHHH" I so desperately wanted a girl that I did not care what God's plan was. I had almost convinced my hubby that we should adopt a girl then I found out I was pregnant again. God would not give me ANOTHER boy right? WRONG. 5 boys. UGHHHH. Please don't get me wrong, I LOVE each of my boys with everything that I have and I fell in love the minute I held each of them. I just wanted a girl.

I have allowed my anger and bitterness to take over. I know that I am an emotional eater. I eat when I am happy, sad, anger, bitter, board...you name it and I will give you a reason why I should be eating. I also binge eat and hide food(mostly candy) from my family. Why? I don't know.

About 3 months ago God changed my heart. I heard about a young boy who needs a "forever" family. Yes, I said boy. WHY.WOULD. I.CONSIDER.A.BOY??? All I can say is only God!! As I heard this child's story. I knew that he was suppose to be with us. I knew that this family could give him what he needs. Hmmmmm...ok God I get it...all boys. Is he here? No, not yet. Do we know if we will be able to call him "son" or "brother"? No not yet. But I am praying for this and trusting that God knows what is best for this young man!

As a result of this young man, I have repented of my behavior and anger. I have started to get back on track with God. I am reading the Word more and more. I am praying through everything again. I am also handing this weight thing back over to God. I have read a few GREAT books about weight loss. Loss if For Life and Made to Crave. I am made to crave... my God. If I don't fill up on him I will try to fill up on other things. For me it is food but for others it could be something different.

Lord, as I try to walk with you on this journey I just want to hold your hand. Help me to focus on you and you ways. When I fall lift me up. Be my strength and fortress!